Impulse control
Acting before thinking, grabbing, interrupting
They know the rule. They can recite it back to you. And then they do the thing anyway - immediately, without thinking. Impulse control is one of the last parts of the brain to develop, which means your kid isn't giving you a hard time. They're having a hard time.
What to Know
Impulse control is one of the last parts of the brain to fully develop — it's not complete until the mid-twenties. This means your child isn't giving you a hard time when they grab, interrupt, or act before thinking. They're having a hard time. The part of the brain responsible for stopping an action is genuinely not ready yet.
Kids can know the rule and still break it. This is confusing for parents who assume that understanding equals ability. But knowing you shouldn't grab the toy and actually stopping yourself from grabbing it are two different brain functions. The first is knowledge. The second is impulse control. One is much harder.
Impulse control develops through practice, maturity, and support — not through punishment or lectures. Consequences have their place, but they don't speed up brain development. Kids need scaffolding and patience while their brains catch up to expectations.
Signs to Watch
- •Acts before thinking even when they know the rule
- •Grabs, hits, or interrupts without apparent awareness
- •Has difficulty waiting for their turn
- •Makes impulsive decisions they immediately regret
- •Seems genuinely surprised by the consequences of their actions
- •Struggles more with impulse control when tired, hungry, or stressed
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