Being a good friend
Loyalty, kindness, showing up
The bossy phase. The friend who suddenly isn't invited anymore. The feedback from teachers about "social challenges." Being a good friend requires skills that don't come naturally to most kids - they have to be learned.
What to Know
Being a good friend requires skills that take years to develop: reading social cues, considering others' feelings, compromising, showing interest in someone else's ideas, and recovering from conflict without burning bridges. Kids aren't born knowing how to do any of this — they learn through trial, error, and guidance.
When kids struggle with friendships, it often shows up as bossiness, inflexibility, or difficulty sharing control. These aren't character flaws — they're skill gaps. The child who insists on their way every time isn't trying to be difficult. They likely don't know how to compromise without feeling like they're losing.
Friendship feedback is hard to hear, whether it comes from teachers, other parents, or kids who don't want to play. But understanding the specific skill gap helps you know what to work on at home.
Signs to Watch
- •Bosses friends around or insists on their way
- •Has difficulty compromising or sharing control
- •Doesn't notice or respond to friends' feelings
- •Struggles to maintain friendships over time
- •Gets feedback about social behavior at school
- •Has conflicts that escalate quickly or end friendships
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