Sharing & turns
Resource sharing, fairness, cooperation
"Mine!" The tug-of-war over toys. The playdate that fell apart. Sharing is one of the hardest social skills because it asks kids to give up something they want right now for an abstract concept of fairness. It takes years to click.
What to Know
Sharing is one of the hardest social skills because it asks kids to give up something they want right now for an abstract concept of fairness. To adults, taking turns seems obvious. To a two or three-year-old, "yours" and "mine" are still blurry concepts, and waiting for a turn feels like losing the thing forever.
Forced sharing often backfires because it doesn't teach the skill — it just teaches kids that adults will take their things. True sharing requires empathy (understanding the other child wants a turn), impulse control (stopping yourself from grabbing), and trust (believing you'll get it back). These develop over years, not through a single lesson.
Kids do better with supported turn-taking than demanded sharing. Using timers, taking turns together, and letting kids experience both giving and receiving builds the skill naturally.
Signs to Watch
- •Struggles to let others use their toys
- •Grabs or hoards items
- •Has meltdowns when asked to share
- •Doesn't understand "yours" vs. "mine"
- •Has difficulty with turn-taking games
- •Shows distress when others have things they want
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