Aggression

Hitting, biting, kicking, throwing

The hitting. The biting. The kicking that seems to come from nowhere. Aggression in young kids is scary and exhausting - but it's usually a sign that they're overwhelmed and out of skills, not that something is deeply wrong.

What to Know

Aggression in young kids — hitting, biting, kicking, throwing — is scary and exhausting. But it's usually a sign that a child is overwhelmed and out of skills, not that something is deeply wrong. Kids hit because they don't yet have the words, the impulse control, or the regulation to handle big feelings any other way.

Aggression is almost always communicating something: frustration, overwhelm, fear, a need for attention, or a sense of injustice. The behavior is not okay and needs limits, but understanding the message behind it is the key to reducing it long-term.

Punishment alone rarely fixes aggression because it doesn't teach alternative skills. Kids need to learn what to do instead — how to express anger with words, how to walk away, how to ask for help. They also need support managing the underlying feelings that drive the aggression.

Signs to Watch

•Hits, kicks, bites, or throws things when upset
•Aggression seems to come out of nowhere
•Hurts siblings, peers, or animals
•Becomes aggressive during transitions or unstructured time
•Has difficulty calming down after aggressive outbursts
•Seems remorseful but can't stop the behavior

Stories

Stories coming soon

We're working on stories to help children with aggression.

Articles

Teaching Kids to Use Their Words Instead of Their Fists

Building communication skills that replace physical aggression.

When Hitting Doesn't Stop: Strategies for Persistent Aggression

What to do when you've tried everything and the hitting continues.

Why Toddlers Hit (And Why It's Developmentally Normal)

Understanding the brain science behind toddler aggression.

7 Things to Say When Your Child Hits You

In-the-moment phrases that stop aggression without escalating.

When Your Child Hits at School or Daycare

Partnering with teachers to address aggression outside the home.

When Sibling Fighting Gets Physical: How to Respond to Hitting, Pushing, and Aggression

What to do when conflict turns violent—and how to prevent it.

Activities & Worksheets

Activities coming soon

Downloadable activities and worksheets for this topic.