Separation
Parents leaving, school dropoff, babysitters
The dropoff death-grip. The "don't leave me" that echoes in your head for hours. Separation is hard on kids - and somehow even harder on the parents who have to walk away. This is one of the most common struggles we see, and it does get better.
What to Know
Separation anxiety is one of the most common childhood struggles — and one of the hardest on parents. The crying, the clinging, the guilt you carry after walking away. It's brutal for everyone, even though you know they'll be fine five minutes after you leave.
For young children, separation anxiety is developmentally normal. They don't yet have object permanence fully established — the certainty that you still exist and will come back. They also don't have a reliable internal sense of time, so "a few hours" might as well be forever.
The instinct to sneak out or prolong goodbyes to avoid the meltdown usually backfires. Kids do better with confident, quick departures and consistent return rituals. They need to build a track record of surviving separation and seeing you come back — every time.
Signs to Watch
- •Cries, clings, or pleads when you try to leave
- •Follows you from room to room at home
- •Has difficulty at school dropoff long past the adjustment period
- •Worries about something bad happening to you while apart
- •Refuses playdates, activities, or sleepovers without you
- •Complains of physical symptoms when separation approaches
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