Specific fears

Animals, storms, loud noises, etc.

Dogs. Thunderstorms. Bugs. Toilets that flush too loud. Specific fears can seem irrational to adults, but they're absolutely real to your child. The good news is these fears respond well to gentle, patient approaches.

What to Know

Specific fears — dogs, bugs, storms, loud noises, costumed characters — can seem irrational to adults but are absolutely real to your child. These fears often emerge suddenly, sometimes after a scary experience and sometimes out of nowhere. They can range from mild avoidance to full-blown phobias that limit daily life.

What makes specific fears tricky is that they're highly responsive to avoidance. Every time a child avoids the feared thing and feels relief, the fear gets stronger. The brain learns: "We avoided it and survived, so it must have been dangerous." This is why accommodation — helping kids avoid triggers — usually backfires long-term.

The good news is that specific fears respond very well to gradual exposure. When kids approach feared things in small, manageable steps and discover that nothing terrible happens, the fear loses its power.

Signs to Watch

•Has an intense reaction to a specific trigger
•Goes out of their way to avoid the feared thing
•Asks for reassurance about encountering the trigger
•Has physical symptoms (crying, freezing, running) when faced with the fear
•Fear interferes with normal activities or routines
•Talks about the fear frequently or seems preoccupied

Stories

Me Too, Actually

When Jamal admitted he was scared, he expected laughter. Instead: 'Me too.' 'Same.' 'I still sleep with a nightlight.' He wasn't alone after all.

The Storm Outside and Inside

When thunder booms, Ana's heart booms too. Grandma doesn't say 'don't be scared.' Instead, she says 'let's count the seconds between flash and boom.' Doing something helps.