Jealousy

Wanting what others have, envy

"It's not fair!" The sibling who got more. The friend who has better stuff. The new baby getting all the attention. Jealousy is uncomfortable for everyone - but it's also completely normal and points to something real your child is feeling.

What to Know

Jealousy is uncomfortable for everyone — the child feeling it, the sibling or friend on the receiving end, and the parent caught in the middle. But jealousy isn't a character flaw. It's a signal that something feels unfair, or that a child is worried about their place in your heart.

Young kids don't have the cognitive ability to understand that love isn't a limited resource. When a sibling gets attention, it can genuinely feel like less is available for them. When a friend has something they don't, they can't yet reason through the idea that different people have different things. The feeling is real even when the logic isn't.

Trying to talk kids out of jealousy rarely works. Acknowledging the feeling — without necessarily fixing the situation — helps kids feel understood and gives the emotion room to pass.

Signs to Watch

•Frequently compares what they have to what others have
•Becomes upset when a sibling gets attention or praise
•Says "it's not fair" often, even when things are equitable
•Tries to sabotage or diminish a sibling's accomplishments
•Struggles to feel happy for others
•Asks repeatedly if you love them "the most" or "the same"

Stories

The Feelings Jar

Emma's feelings are all jumbled up—angry-sad-scared-excited all at once. Grandpa gives her a jar and teaches her to name each feeling and give it a color.

But I Really Want It

Jaylen wanted the cool sneakers SO BAD. Mom said no. It felt unfair. But when he saw a kid with broken shoes, Jaylen understood something about want and need.

Why Do We Have to Take the Bus?

CJ wanted a car like everyone else. The bus was embarrassing. But Grandma showed him what he was missing: the guitar player, the kind driver, the city out the window.

This Is How I Feel

Happy feels like sunshine inside. Sad feels heavy, like carrying a rock. Scared feels tight, like holding your breath. Every feeling has a feeling—and a name.

Do You Love Us the Same?

With three kids in the family, Ella wondered: does Mom have enough love? Does she love the baby more? Mom explained: Love isn't pie. It doesn't run out.

I Was Here First

Before the baby came, everything was Tessa's. Now the baby gets all the attention. Tessa decides she hates him—until someone else says something mean about him.

Articles

Comparison Trap: When Your Child Measures Themselves Against Others

Helping kids focus on their own growth instead of constant comparison.

Why Siblings Fight (And Why It's Actually Normal)

Understanding the developmental reasons behind sibling conflict.

Sibling Jealousy: When One Child Feels Less Loved

How to recognize and address jealousy—even when you're treating your kids equally.

Fair Isn't Always Equal: How to Handle "That's Not Fair!"

Responding to constant fairness complaints without going crazy.

Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling: Before, During, and After

How to ease the transition when a new baby joins the family.

Activities & Worksheets

Activities coming soon

Downloadable activities and worksheets for this topic.