The 5-Minute Calm-Down Routine That Actually Works

When emotions run high, having a go-to routine makes everything easier. This 5-minute calm-down sequence works because it targets the body first—where big feelings actually live.

Why Body-First Works

You can't think your way out of a tantrum. The body holds stress in physical ways: tense muscles, shallow breathing, racing heart. Releasing the body releases the emotion.

This routine works through the body to calm the mind. Practice it during calm times first, so it becomes automatic when needed.

The 5-Minute Routine

Minute 1: Big Breaths (Balloon Breathing)

Have your child pretend their belly is a balloon. Breathe in slowly through the nose, filling the balloon. Hold for a moment. Then breathe out through the mouth, deflating the balloon slowly.

Do this three times together. Exaggerate your own breathing so they can follow along.

Minute 2: Shake It Out

Stand up and shake your whole body—arms, legs, head, everything. Make it silly. The goal is to physically release tension.

Thirty seconds of vigorous shaking, then stop suddenly and notice how the body feels. Often there's a natural settling that happens.

Minute 3: Wall Push

Have your child stand facing a wall and push against it with both hands, as hard as they can, for 10-15 seconds. This provides deep pressure input that calms the nervous system.

Rest for a few seconds, then repeat twice more.

Minute 4: Name It to Tame It

Now that the body is calmer, check in with feelings. Ask your child to point to where they feel the emotion in their body. Then name it together: "That feels like frustration" or "Your body is holding some anger."

You don't need to solve anything. Just name and acknowledge.

Minute 5: Grounding

End with a simple grounding exercise. Have your child name: - 5 things they can see - 4 things they can touch - 3 things they can hear - 2 things they can smell - 1 thing they can taste

This brings attention back to the present moment and signals to the brain that the emergency is over.

Tips for Success

Practice when calm first. This routine only works in heated moments if it's already familiar.

Keep it short. Five minutes is enough. Longer routines lose kids' attention.

Do it with them. Your calm presence is part of what makes it work. Don't instruct from a distance—participate.

Make it your family's thing. Give it a name: "Let's do our calm-down combo" or "Time for a reset."

When to Use It

This routine works for garden-variety frustration and overwhelm. For full meltdowns where your child is completely dysregulated, they may need simpler interventions first—just your calm presence, or physical comfort—before they can engage with a structured routine.