Comparison
Measuring against others, "not as good as"
The sibling who does everything better. The friend with more. The constant measuring of themselves against everyone around them. Comparison is natural - but when it becomes a habit, it steals joy.
What to Know
Comparison is natural — humans are wired to evaluate themselves against others. But when comparison becomes a habit, it steals joy. Kids who constantly measure themselves against siblings, friends, or social media images are always finding evidence that they don't measure up.
The problem isn't noticing differences — it's the conclusion kids draw. "She's faster than me" is an observation. "She's faster than me so I'm bad at this" is a judgment. Kids prone to unhealthy comparison tend to make these jumps automatically, turning every difference into evidence of their inadequacy.
Redirecting toward self-comparison helps: "Are you faster than you were last month?" matters more than "Are you faster than her?" So does helping kids understand that different people have different strengths, and that someone else's abilities don't diminish their own.
Signs to Watch
- •Frequently compares themselves to siblings or peers
- •Gets upset when others succeed or have more
- •Minimizes their own accomplishments
- •Seems unable to feel good unless they're "the best"
- •Asks questions like "Am I better than...?"
- •Quits activities where they're not immediately the best
Stories
Articles
Activities & Worksheets
Activities coming soon
Downloadable activities and worksheets for this topic.