New sibling
Baby arrival, sharing parents, family expansion
The regression. The "send the baby back." The desperate bids for attention that look like bad behavior. A new sibling changes everything - and kids process that upheaval in ways that are often hard to witness.
What to Know
A new sibling changes everything, and kids process that upheaval in ways that are often hard to witness. Regression, aggression toward the baby, desperate bids for attention — these are all normal responses to a massive life change they didn't choose and can't control.
Kids often can't articulate what they're feeling about the new baby. They may not even understand it themselves. "I hate the baby" might mean "I'm scared you don't love me anymore" or "I don't like who I become when I'm jealous." The behavior is communication.
The adjustment takes longer than most parents expect — months, not weeks. What helps: one-on-one time with the older child, involving them without burdening them, acknowledging the hard parts of having a sibling, and holding limits kindly when the behavior crosses lines.
Signs to Watch
- •Regression in toilet training, sleep, or other skills
- •Aggression toward the baby or increased aggression overall
- •Acting out for attention in new ways
- •Asking to "send the baby back" or expressing dislike
- •Changes in mood, sleep, or appetite
- •Clinginess or increased need for reassurance
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