Divorce & separation

Parents apart, two homes, family restructuring

Their family is changing shape, and there's nothing they can do about it. Kids process divorce in their own time and their own way - often through behavior rather than words. This is hard for everyone.

What to Know

When parents separate, kids' whole world restructures. Even when the divorce is ultimately better for everyone, the loss is real: loss of the family as they knew it, loss of daily access to both parents, loss of the fantasy that things might go back to how they were.

Kids process divorce in their own time and their own way — often through behavior rather than words. Acting out, regression, clinginess, withdrawal, and mood changes are all normal responses to an abnormal situation. Kids may also try to hide their feelings to protect their parents.

What helps: honest, age-appropriate information; reassurance that both parents still love them; keeping them out of the middle; maintaining routines and structure; and giving them permission to have whatever feelings they have, including anger at you.

Signs to Watch

•Acting out or significant behavior changes
•Regression in skills or sleep
•Anxiety, depression, or withdrawal
•Trying to reunite parents or self-blame for the split
•Difficulty with transitions between homes
•Changes in academic performance or friendships

Stories

I Thought I Was the Only One

Nadia thought she was the only one with a messy family. Then her friend said 'my parents fight too.' Suddenly, the secret wasn't so heavy.

The Club of Kids Who Get It

There's a club at school. No meetings, no sign-ups. It's the club of kids who get it—kids with divorced parents, big feelings, hard stuff. Marcus is a member. You might be too.

The Kid With the Reputation

Everyone knew Jordan was trouble. But nobody knew why. When his new teacher asked—really asked—Jordan told her about the move, the divorce, the too-many-changes. Understanding changed everything.

Maybe I'm Not the Bad Kid

Everyone calls Devon the bad kid. But Devon isn't bad—he's struggling. When someone finally asks 'what's wrong?' instead of 'why are you like this?'—everything changes.

Articles

Helping Your Child Through Divorce: An Age-by-Age Guide

What children need at each developmental stage when parents separate.

Activities & Worksheets

Activities coming soon

Downloadable activities and worksheets for this topic.